He disabled his match.com account in front of me
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
