I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
