Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Randomize