:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
