Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize
