you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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