I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
Me too!
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Randomize
