You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
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