im drinking this country out of the recession.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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