You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Randomize
