I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
We need to rekindle our bromance
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
