I think I died a long time ago.
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
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