ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Randomize
