its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
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