Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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