Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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