I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize
