whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
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