We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
you inspire me to be a worse person
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize