What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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