My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
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