East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Randomize
