arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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