do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Randomize
