Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
Randomize
