she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
