we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
My apartment stinks of burning failure
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
