the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Randomize
