kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
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