hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
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