I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
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