I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
i think i have two assholes
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize