the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
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