like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Randomize
