honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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