"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Randomize
