He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
