Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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