I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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