he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
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