I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
I need to stop coming to work sober
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
