I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
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