It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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