do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Randomize
