I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Randomize
