i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Randomize
