i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
I currently don't understand fingers.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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