hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Randomize
