Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
Randomize
