Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Randomize
