k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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