I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Randomize
