i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Randomize
