First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
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