God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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