We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
I think my moral compass just broke
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