I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
