Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
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