Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Randomize
