My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
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