Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Randomize
