You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Randomize
