He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
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Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
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If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
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