I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
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